Fun with Conspiracy Theories!

I just read a brilliantly written article called 10 Popular Conspiracy Theories by Vicki Santillano. There is something about conspiracy theories that make me want to turn them into my ball of yarn. I can't help it. Those who spout theories as if they were law drive me bonkers. I will now make fun of the top 10 Conspiracy Theories.

1. Lee Harvey Oswald was a just a fall guy for a shadow group that wanted to assassinate JFK for their own agenda. Lee Harvey Oswald was an alien from outer space! Oswald, Roswell...coincidence?! Everybody knows that all shadow groups are the Illuminati.

2. Princess Diana was assassinated by the British Royal Family, or her death was faked to escape the glaring limelight of public life. Clearly the British Royal Family runs the Illuminati and they were jealous of her popularity. She might have been a Reptilian plant used by the hostile Reptilians to mind control humanity, or was it that the Illuminati are really Reptilians trying to destroy the fabric of mankind. I forget which.

3. AIDS is a disease created as a biological weapon by the government to exterminate  gays and black people. Worse yet the government has the cure but is withholding it. All government is run by the Illuminati, (poorly) and they have been developing a retro virus that will transmute humans into Reptilians. AIDS is just a test strain. It will be more effective when global warming really kicks in.

4. 9/11 was orchestrated by Bush to gain more power. 9/11 is really a smoke screen for the world's worst alien attack from space. Humanity just can't handle the horrible truth.

5. Elvis is still alive. I watched Men in Black and they said Elvis didn't die he just went home. TV doesn't lie.

6. The 1969 Apollo moon landing was faked to embarrass the soviet Union. This is simply not true only women are good a faking things for the sake of a man's pride, ( like an orgasm. Oh, oh, You Da Man!) whatever.

7. A UFO crashed in Roswell New Mexico. Absolutely nothing ever happens in Roswell. Whoever the genius marketing person was to start that rumour they deserve a prize. Without the tourism from UFO buffs to that one horse town, Roswell would be just another deserted hick town with nothing but tumble weeds.

8. Global Warming is a hoax perpetrated by Al Gore to get revenge for not winning the presidency. This one is actually true.

9. William Shakespeare was a pen name and other people wrote those famous plays. Will Shakespeare is a Reptilian member of the Illuminati and all his plays are a form of mind control. "To be or not to be, a human skin sack..."

10. Reptilian humanoids are infiltrating society in order to dominate us. I don't know if this is true or not. I do know that humans are impossible to control. ( Try telling your teenager to clean his room up.) The very nature of the indomitable human spirit is comfort enough for me.