Some people are blessed with really mild temperate weather and can garden all year. Normally that isn't the case in Oklahoma. I have a 3mil piece of plastic draped over a cage made of chicken wire that is held in place with bricks at the bottom and clothes pins near the top. In it I am still growing and harvesting lettuce. My ghetto green house is so fun. I even have a few shy radishes coming up in it the relative warmth of the plastic covered "cold frame."
Hidden under a few inches of pine needles I have leeks and garlic. The sage and parsley is still hanging tough too. If I had known that the Winter was going to be so mild I would have planted more! However, the whiplash temperatures and wild changeable jet stream may foil me yet.
The Farmer's Almanac is predicting ice storms in my future. Yikes.
The final wonder is actually in the sun-room. A single triumphant bell pepper plant, complete with bell pepper is growing in it's own personal eternal Summer. I fawn over it constantly. It is fun to have something fruiting now. It feeds my nurturing personality to have something to grow and look after. Likewise, I grieve when a plant finally withers and dies. For now I have lettuce fresh from the garden and soon a single bell pepper to munch.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Sunday, December 25, 2011
How to Survive the Apocalypse
Let's pretend that Hollywood was right and the Apocalypse messed everything up and you are left to fend for yourself. Would you be able to thrive in the aftermath of Armageddon? I have several possible game plans for my survival and I share them with you.
1. Go Hillbilly. In this scenario I learn how to make a Still and produce Moonshine for fun and profit. I also have a great deal of guns and ammo to defend this asset. I figure on trading booze for whatever else I may want or need.
2. Go underground. I become a tunnel dweller to avoid any trace radiation on the surface. The tunnels provide protection from the raging weather up top. Of course I'll also need 5 years of supplies in these mythic tunnels and some form of power to grow my underground garden. It seems like a lot of work in preparation so that Still idea is looking better and better.
3. Stockpile Fudge Brownie mix. I believe brownies will become the currency of the future. Nuff said.
4. Throw myself of the mercy of the Amish.
5. Join a Mad Max type hooligan gang and raid the surrounding survival shelters. Oh, what?! Like you wouldn't if you were starving and there was no law but survival of the fittest? Don't judge me...
6. Open a cannibal B-B-Q joint. The other, other white meat. Just kidding, I'd never admit to cooking a human, for all you know it tastes like chicken!
7. Join a cult, for the free snacks.
8. Start a cult, for the free labor.
9. Migrate to the radiation free zone and grow vegetables. Time consuming but eventually sustainable.
10. Thank the heavens that this will probably never ever happen. I love you all.
1. Go Hillbilly. In this scenario I learn how to make a Still and produce Moonshine for fun and profit. I also have a great deal of guns and ammo to defend this asset. I figure on trading booze for whatever else I may want or need.
2. Go underground. I become a tunnel dweller to avoid any trace radiation on the surface. The tunnels provide protection from the raging weather up top. Of course I'll also need 5 years of supplies in these mythic tunnels and some form of power to grow my underground garden. It seems like a lot of work in preparation so that Still idea is looking better and better.
3. Stockpile Fudge Brownie mix. I believe brownies will become the currency of the future. Nuff said.
4. Throw myself of the mercy of the Amish.
5. Join a Mad Max type hooligan gang and raid the surrounding survival shelters. Oh, what?! Like you wouldn't if you were starving and there was no law but survival of the fittest? Don't judge me...
6. Open a cannibal B-B-Q joint. The other, other white meat. Just kidding, I'd never admit to cooking a human, for all you know it tastes like chicken!
7. Join a cult, for the free snacks.
8. Start a cult, for the free labor.
9. Migrate to the radiation free zone and grow vegetables. Time consuming but eventually sustainable.
10. Thank the heavens that this will probably never ever happen. I love you all.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Spineless Political Pussies and the Bullies that vote for them
A bunch of political pussies, that's what is crawling around in Washington. Sure we voted for them and shook ours fists and demanded change to fix the economy and bring transparency to the financial sector. Then we all freaked out and whined about losing our entitlements of medicare and the threat of higher taxes. *sigh*
Puerto Rico climbed out of the bankruptcy hole by slashing pay to government and firing a lot of government workers, ending entitlements and raising taxes. Sometimes you have to bite the bullet and gut it out. Sometimes people have to go jobless and fend for themselves. Sure there were riots in the streets and the govenor was hated, but he pulled them out of the black hole of bankruptcy and rejuvenated the economy.
Nobody likes having free stuff taken from them. Nor do they want to loose benefits that they were counting on. Still it has to be done or you are going to lose it all anyways. I'd rather have a heads up and a game plan.
Puerto Rico climbed out of the bankruptcy hole by slashing pay to government and firing a lot of government workers, ending entitlements and raising taxes. Sometimes you have to bite the bullet and gut it out. Sometimes people have to go jobless and fend for themselves. Sure there were riots in the streets and the govenor was hated, but he pulled them out of the black hole of bankruptcy and rejuvenated the economy.
Nobody likes having free stuff taken from them. Nor do they want to loose benefits that they were counting on. Still it has to be done or you are going to lose it all anyways. I'd rather have a heads up and a game plan.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Paranoids guide to the end of the world ( as we know it...)
I call myself a Prepper. I'm not a real hard core Prepper that is waiting and trembling for the end of the world. I'm just a fluffy Prepper; into it for the fun and trendiness of it. What is a Prepper you may ask?
I enjoy preparing myself for any kind of major disaster. You can find a lot of real Preppers on YouTube. I like to watch their videos and learn survival skills and gardening tips. Mostly cool gardening tips. Perhaps, like me you wonder why preparing for the worst case scenario has become so popular again. I say again, because it was also pretty trendy around Y2K. ( that was a no show.) I have composed a list of things that people today are terrified of in order to explain the Prepper mania.
Plausible-
Nuclear Attack- There are still some nukes floating around and also some developing counties that are making em, could happen.
Floods- They are kind of a regional problem but, yeah I'll buy that they could seriously ruin your month.
Earthquakes- Yup, I believe that they are indeed plausible.
Civil Unrest and Mob Rule- Pick any country and I'll show you a mob of people protesting. Think it can't happen? Tea Party and Occupy movements are growing in popularity.
Sorta, Maybe-
Pandemic- I know lots of people that don't wash their hands and like to sneeze openly into a crowd. Toddlers are the worst. Also humanity has the ability to travel anywhere as fast a jet will go. It just takes one sick person to inoculate an airplane of disease carriers.
Mega Tsunami- I'm on the fence about this one. You would have to be in a low lying area relatively near the coast to have this mess up your life. However, a Mega tsunami that wiped out a major agricultural area could cause famine later and we'd all feel the pain then.
Global Ice Age- Maybe, I almost feel that we could work around this, but it would be mighty inconvenient and major populations would have to relocate or perish.
Solar radiation burst- If it could happen ( that's a big if) It would only affect the half of the planet that was facing it. Well, unless it was continuously spewing gamma radiation over a long period of time, then we'd all have to rethink our current reality paradigms.
Off the Charts Crazy and improbable-
Intelligent Robot take over and or nano technology revolution against humanity- I'm not really worried. The nerds and hackers will save us.
Space Alien Invasion- Bring it! I'd like to see them try.
Zombie Apocalypse- I think that the undead zombies get a really bad rap. I went to high school with a few zombies and they were totally mellow. Sure they seemed to skip the first class after lunch period to smoke weed a lot but they never ate anyone's brains that I knew of.
I probably missed a few other really choice reasons to be terrified, asteroids, pole shifts, gremlins and such. At least now you get the gist. I think my next installment will be my secrets to surviving after Armageddon.
I enjoy preparing myself for any kind of major disaster. You can find a lot of real Preppers on YouTube. I like to watch their videos and learn survival skills and gardening tips. Mostly cool gardening tips. Perhaps, like me you wonder why preparing for the worst case scenario has become so popular again. I say again, because it was also pretty trendy around Y2K. ( that was a no show.) I have composed a list of things that people today are terrified of in order to explain the Prepper mania.
Plausible-
Nuclear Attack- There are still some nukes floating around and also some developing counties that are making em, could happen.
Floods- They are kind of a regional problem but, yeah I'll buy that they could seriously ruin your month.
Earthquakes- Yup, I believe that they are indeed plausible.
Civil Unrest and Mob Rule- Pick any country and I'll show you a mob of people protesting. Think it can't happen? Tea Party and Occupy movements are growing in popularity.
Sorta, Maybe-
Pandemic- I know lots of people that don't wash their hands and like to sneeze openly into a crowd. Toddlers are the worst. Also humanity has the ability to travel anywhere as fast a jet will go. It just takes one sick person to inoculate an airplane of disease carriers.
Mega Tsunami- I'm on the fence about this one. You would have to be in a low lying area relatively near the coast to have this mess up your life. However, a Mega tsunami that wiped out a major agricultural area could cause famine later and we'd all feel the pain then.
Global Ice Age- Maybe, I almost feel that we could work around this, but it would be mighty inconvenient and major populations would have to relocate or perish.
Solar radiation burst- If it could happen ( that's a big if) It would only affect the half of the planet that was facing it. Well, unless it was continuously spewing gamma radiation over a long period of time, then we'd all have to rethink our current reality paradigms.
Off the Charts Crazy and improbable-
Intelligent Robot take over and or nano technology revolution against humanity- I'm not really worried. The nerds and hackers will save us.
Space Alien Invasion- Bring it! I'd like to see them try.
Zombie Apocalypse- I think that the undead zombies get a really bad rap. I went to high school with a few zombies and they were totally mellow. Sure they seemed to skip the first class after lunch period to smoke weed a lot but they never ate anyone's brains that I knew of.
I probably missed a few other really choice reasons to be terrified, asteroids, pole shifts, gremlins and such. At least now you get the gist. I think my next installment will be my secrets to surviving after Armageddon.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Finally a break in the Epic Heat!
You know it has been relentlessly hot when 98 degrees is a treat. Remember that brilliant idea I had to create a stay-cation in the back yard by erecting the big blue above ground pool? It really isn't that refreshing to take a dip when the air is 108 and the pool temp is 102 degrees Fahrenheit. It is more like a mild form of endurance testing or cruelty.
I did it though. I had to get in to change the filter anyway. I gingerly dipped my backside in the sweltering , near boiling pool like I was easing into a too hot bath. I did a couple of laps and decided it might be a good idea to get out before I lost consciousness.
Then it finally happened. The historical heat wave broke and the temperature dropped to a delicious mid eighties. Birds were singing, cattle were frolicking and people took walks again around the neighborhood. Each one one waving at the passers by and laughing. Life was wonderful again.
Inspired by the relief in the temperatures, Hubby and I planned a long awaited camping trip in the Pop Up. Yay! I'm doing it totally relaxed this time. No more military lists of meal plans and regimented activities. I'm just throwing everything in the cooler and packing lots of booze. If we run short than we'll go shopping or make due. What? Don't like scrambled eggs for breakfast lunch and dinner, well, have more wine and it will seem almost charming.
I did it though. I had to get in to change the filter anyway. I gingerly dipped my backside in the sweltering , near boiling pool like I was easing into a too hot bath. I did a couple of laps and decided it might be a good idea to get out before I lost consciousness.
Then it finally happened. The historical heat wave broke and the temperature dropped to a delicious mid eighties. Birds were singing, cattle were frolicking and people took walks again around the neighborhood. Each one one waving at the passers by and laughing. Life was wonderful again.
Inspired by the relief in the temperatures, Hubby and I planned a long awaited camping trip in the Pop Up. Yay! I'm doing it totally relaxed this time. No more military lists of meal plans and regimented activities. I'm just throwing everything in the cooler and packing lots of booze. If we run short than we'll go shopping or make due. What? Don't like scrambled eggs for breakfast lunch and dinner, well, have more wine and it will seem almost charming.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Scorched Wake
I have to get up early to beat the heat. By 9:00AM it is pushing 100 degrees, hotter if you are standing in the direct sun. The water rationing isn't really bothering me as I had let my lawn die months ago. I still take the hose and bucket to keep a few islands of plants going. There is also the soaker hose that waters the garden. That garden is the green oasis in an otherwise tan and crunchy brown landscape.
The homeless kitty now sleeps in the center of the garden, trying to stay cool in the shade of the Sunchokes and pumpkin vines. If she catches an occasional bird too then there you go *cue Lion King Circle of Life music.*
They predict 115 degrees today. I thought 107 was challenging. Even the ants are behaving differently. They seem to be everywhere desperately trying to get moisture from water trays under potted plants, the bird bath, swarming the compost heap and then vanishing back under ground in a few hours before critical burn.
I am wondering if it will be like the scene from the Chronicles of Riddick. A rising sun that scorches the landscape with flame and ash with nothing but charred rock and desolation in the dawn of it's scorched wake.
The local news anchor woman pounded the desk and said " Aw. come ON!" To the weather man as he announced the record breaking heat indexes. He cringed and continued on with his dire forecasts of sweltering with a chance of heat exhaustion.The Governor has declared Oklahoma an agriculture disaster from the drought.
Flowers bloom and become potpourri in the baking sunshine. Bees stay in their hives only leaving in short shifts to get water and return to cool the hive with their collective wing beats. Birds walk and pant; too hot to fly. Trees drop leaves as they go dormant for lack of water. The Cedars, ever green, shrink and their branches droop in an effort to conserve what little moisture they can charm from the morning air.
I fill the bird bath twice daily for pity and have a mister hose near the house to give relief to my butterfly friends and birds. I close off parts of the house so the air conditioner doesn't have to work so hard. I drink iced tea like it is the fountain of youth.
The homeless kitty now sleeps in the center of the garden, trying to stay cool in the shade of the Sunchokes and pumpkin vines. If she catches an occasional bird too then there you go *cue Lion King Circle of Life music.*
They predict 115 degrees today. I thought 107 was challenging. Even the ants are behaving differently. They seem to be everywhere desperately trying to get moisture from water trays under potted plants, the bird bath, swarming the compost heap and then vanishing back under ground in a few hours before critical burn.
I am wondering if it will be like the scene from the Chronicles of Riddick. A rising sun that scorches the landscape with flame and ash with nothing but charred rock and desolation in the dawn of it's scorched wake.
The local news anchor woman pounded the desk and said " Aw. come ON!" To the weather man as he announced the record breaking heat indexes. He cringed and continued on with his dire forecasts of sweltering with a chance of heat exhaustion.The Governor has declared Oklahoma an agriculture disaster from the drought.
Flowers bloom and become potpourri in the baking sunshine. Bees stay in their hives only leaving in short shifts to get water and return to cool the hive with their collective wing beats. Birds walk and pant; too hot to fly. Trees drop leaves as they go dormant for lack of water. The Cedars, ever green, shrink and their branches droop in an effort to conserve what little moisture they can charm from the morning air.
I fill the bird bath twice daily for pity and have a mister hose near the house to give relief to my butterfly friends and birds. I close off parts of the house so the air conditioner doesn't have to work so hard. I drink iced tea like it is the fountain of youth.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Summer in a Jar
I made strawberry jam today. It is my husband's favorite and the berries at the market were gorgeous. I feel like a mad scientist when I make jelly and jam. I have special pots and jars, lids, collars, tools and sterile cloths lined up like little soldiers before I begin the process. The kitchen has to be spotless for me to do the whole canning show, not because I'm fastidious, but because I'm so easily distracted I need the visual space to think it all through.
Some people prefer to strain the jelly juice so there is no seeds and just a lovely jewel toned product at the end. I like the pieces of fruit and the seed. The seeds remind me of little stars hanging in a ruby sky. Now the whole house and my hair,even the poodle all smell of strawberries; sweet and summery and mouth wateringly delicious.
One of the most beautiful sounds to my ears is the sharp metallic ping of a jelly jar sealing after being lifted from the canner. That soft plink fills my whole soul with a feeling of well being and contentment. I am overly proud of my jellies and jams. I've tasted better and seen prettier, but because it is done by my hand I love it. There is a comfort and power in being able to capture Summer in a jar.
Some people prefer to strain the jelly juice so there is no seeds and just a lovely jewel toned product at the end. I like the pieces of fruit and the seed. The seeds remind me of little stars hanging in a ruby sky. Now the whole house and my hair,even the poodle all smell of strawberries; sweet and summery and mouth wateringly delicious.
One of the most beautiful sounds to my ears is the sharp metallic ping of a jelly jar sealing after being lifted from the canner. That soft plink fills my whole soul with a feeling of well being and contentment. I am overly proud of my jellies and jams. I've tasted better and seen prettier, but because it is done by my hand I love it. There is a comfort and power in being able to capture Summer in a jar.
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