Spineless Political Pussies and the Bullies that vote for them

A bunch of political pussies, that's what is crawling around in Washington. Sure we voted for them and shook ours fists and demanded change to fix the economy and bring transparency to the financial sector. Then we all freaked out and whined about losing our entitlements of medicare and the threat of higher taxes. *sigh*

Puerto Rico climbed out of the bankruptcy hole by slashing pay to government and firing a lot of government workers, ending entitlements and raising taxes. Sometimes you have to bite the bullet and gut it out. Sometimes people have to go jobless and fend for themselves. Sure there were riots in the streets and the govenor was hated, but he pulled them out of the black hole of bankruptcy and rejuvenated the economy.

Nobody likes having free stuff taken from them. Nor do they want to loose benefits that they were counting on. Still it has to be done or you are going to lose it all anyways. I'd rather have a heads up and a game plan.

Paranoids guide to the end of the world ( as we know it...)

I call myself a Prepper. I'm not a real hard core Prepper that is waiting  and trembling for the end of the world. I'm just a fluffy Prepper; into it for the fun and trendiness of it. What is a Prepper you may ask?

I enjoy preparing myself for any kind of major disaster. You can find a lot of real Preppers on YouTube. I like to watch their videos and learn survival skills and gardening tips. Mostly cool gardening tips. Perhaps, like me you wonder why preparing for the worst case scenario has become so popular again. I say again, because it was also pretty trendy around Y2K. ( that was a no show.) I have composed a list of things that people today are terrified of in order to explain the Prepper mania.

Plausible-

Nuclear Attack- There are still some nukes floating around and also some developing counties that are making em, could happen.
Floods- They are kind of a regional problem but, yeah I'll buy that they could seriously ruin your month.
Earthquakes- Yup, I believe that they are indeed plausible.
Civil Unrest and Mob Rule- Pick any country and I'll show you a mob of people protesting. Think it can't happen? Tea Party and Occupy movements are growing in popularity.

Sorta, Maybe-

Pandemic- I know lots of people that don't wash their hands and like to sneeze openly into a crowd. Toddlers are the worst. Also humanity has the ability to travel anywhere as fast a jet will go. It just takes one sick person to inoculate an airplane of disease carriers.
Mega Tsunami- I'm on the fence about this one. You would have to be in a low lying area relatively near the coast to have this mess up your life. However, a Mega tsunami that wiped out a major agricultural area could cause famine later and we'd all feel the pain then.
Global Ice Age- Maybe, I almost feel that we could work around this, but it would be mighty inconvenient and major populations would have to relocate or perish.
Solar radiation burst- If it could happen ( that's a big if) It would only affect the half of the planet that was facing it. Well, unless it was continuously spewing gamma radiation over a long period of time, then we'd all have to rethink our current reality paradigms.

Off the Charts Crazy and improbable-

Intelligent Robot take over and or nano technology revolution against humanity- I'm not really worried. The nerds and hackers will save us.
Space Alien Invasion- Bring it! I'd like to see them try.
Zombie Apocalypse- I think that the undead zombies get a really bad rap. I went to high school with a few zombies and they were totally mellow. Sure they seemed to skip the first class after lunch period to smoke weed a lot but they never ate anyone's brains that I knew of.

I probably missed a few other really choice reasons to be terrified, asteroids, pole shifts, gremlins and such. At least now you get the gist. I think my next installment will be my secrets to surviving after Armageddon.

Finally a break in the Epic Heat!

You know it has been relentlessly hot when 98 degrees is a treat. Remember that brilliant idea I had to create a stay-cation in the back yard by erecting the big blue above ground pool? It really isn't that refreshing to take a dip when the air is 108 and the pool temp is 102 degrees Fahrenheit. It is more like a mild form of endurance testing or cruelty.

I did it though. I had to get in to change the filter anyway. I gingerly dipped my backside in the sweltering , near boiling pool like I was easing into a too hot bath. I did a couple of laps and decided it might be a good idea to get out before I lost consciousness.

Then it finally happened. The historical heat wave broke and the temperature dropped to a delicious mid eighties.  Birds were singing, cattle were frolicking and people took walks again around the neighborhood. Each one one waving at the passers by and laughing. Life was wonderful again.

Inspired by the relief in the temperatures, Hubby and I planned a long awaited camping trip in the Pop Up. Yay! I'm doing it totally relaxed this time. No more military lists of meal plans and regimented activities. I'm just throwing everything in the cooler and packing lots of booze. If we run short than we'll go shopping or make due. What? Don't like scrambled eggs for breakfast lunch and dinner, well, have more wine and it will seem almost charming.

Scorched Wake

I have to get up early to beat the heat. By 9:00AM it is pushing 100 degrees, hotter if you are standing in the direct sun. The water rationing isn't really bothering me as I had let my lawn die months ago. I still take the hose and bucket to keep a few islands of plants going. There is also the soaker hose that waters the garden. That garden is the green oasis in an otherwise tan and crunchy brown landscape.

The homeless kitty now sleeps in the center of the garden, trying to stay cool in the shade of the Sunchokes and pumpkin vines. If she catches an occasional bird too then there you go *cue Lion  King Circle of Life music.*

They predict 115 degrees today. I thought 107 was challenging. Even the ants are behaving differently. They seem to be everywhere desperately trying to get moisture from water trays under potted plants, the bird bath, swarming the compost heap and then vanishing back under ground in a few hours before critical burn.

I am wondering if it will be like the scene from the Chronicles of Riddick. A rising sun that scorches the landscape with flame and ash with nothing but charred rock and desolation in the dawn of it's scorched wake.

The local news anchor woman pounded the desk and said " Aw. come ON!" To the weather man as he announced the record breaking heat indexes. He cringed and continued on with his dire forecasts of sweltering with a chance of heat exhaustion.The Governor has declared Oklahoma an agriculture disaster from the drought.

Flowers bloom and become potpourri in the baking sunshine. Bees stay in their hives only leaving in short shifts to get water and return to cool the hive with their collective wing beats. Birds walk and pant; too hot to fly. Trees drop leaves as they go dormant for lack of water. The Cedars, ever green, shrink and their branches droop in an effort to  conserve what little moisture they can charm from the morning air.

I fill the bird bath twice daily for pity and have a mister hose near the house to give relief to my butterfly friends and birds. I close off parts of the house so the air conditioner doesn't have to work so hard. I drink iced tea like it is the fountain of youth.

Summer in a Jar

I made strawberry jam today. It is my husband's favorite and the berries at the market were gorgeous. I feel like a mad scientist when I make jelly and jam. I have special pots and jars, lids, collars, tools and sterile cloths lined up like little soldiers before I begin the process. The kitchen has to be spotless for me to do the whole canning show, not because I'm fastidious, but because I'm so easily distracted I need the visual space to think it all through.

Some people prefer to strain the jelly juice so there is no seeds and just a lovely jewel toned product at the end. I like the pieces of fruit and the seed. The seeds remind me of little stars hanging in a ruby sky. Now the whole house and my hair,even the poodle all smell of strawberries; sweet and summery and mouth wateringly delicious.

One of the most beautiful sounds to my ears is the sharp metallic ping of a jelly jar sealing after being lifted from the canner. That soft plink fills my whole soul with a feeling of well being and contentment. I am overly proud of my jellies and jams. I've tasted better and seen prettier, but because it is done by my hand I love it. There is a comfort and power in being able to capture Summer in a jar.

Trouble in Redneck Paradise

After unpacking and setting up the above ground pool I wondered how I would enjoy it because the water was freezing. That is no longer a problem. Day upon record breaking day of triple digit heat has kept the pool at a sweltering 100 degrees. No joke! Not the cool refreshing dip I envisioned but a wonderful extra large Jacuzzi.

The regular maintenance of the pool requires me to actually get in it to cover the pump vents in order to change out the filter every 2 weeks. I'll admit I had to stand there to get used to the heat for a few moments. Then I carefully dipped the rest of my body in like a bather trying to get in a too hot bath. I know for a fact it had hit 100 degrees in the pool because I had slipped the old Jacuzzi thermometer in there to monitor it.

Really the best time for a dip is in the early morning. It sucks that I'm not a morning person. The only other mishap with the pool remains a mystery. One morning we noticed that the pool was half empty. Somehow it had been tipped by a freak wind or collapsed by a random punk teen or molested by alien space ships and dumped out half the volume of water.

This was fantastic for the surrounding lawn but has left the pool with a strange lopsided lean in a Southerly direction. No matter I filled it back up as best I could with the wonky inflatable lip. I still swim in a circle despite the heat. In fact I think the hot water helps my sore back in the evenings. Bonus!

Ok, it isn't a waterfall tropical pool in the rain forest or a crisp mountain lake, it's a vinyl pool that feels more like a hot tub tucked in the midst of cedar trees in my back yard. Despite the record heat wave and drought conditions  this is my self made paradise. Sure we got a few troubles but we make the best of it and squeeze out all the fun we can with what we got.

Goodbye Stinkbugs, Hello Cucumber Beetles

The bane of my gardening existence has been the armies of stinkbugs that chew and suck the life out of my lovely garden plants. However, this year they have been a no show. (pause) Instead, I have been visited with a plague of Cucumber Beetles. They are actually very pretty as beetles go. A cheerful bright yellow with polka dots of black or shiny yellow with black racing stripes along their little bodies seems harmless enough. Harmless as an evil clown!

After hitting the Google and learning all I could about these insidious insects I have discovered that they live in the soil all Winter and come back year after year in greater numbers! Horrors! I must now choose some method of defense against them to try and salvage my glorious pumpkin vine and tender tomato plants.

It has been a tough year already for the garden with the record heat. 102 degrees day after day has caused my tomato flowers to refuse to drop pollen. Tomato production is down to a mere 8 tomatoes from 2 otherwise healthy plants. So I shade the tomato plants and mist them in an effort to cool them down, as well as, hand pollinate.

Did I mention that this year the bees have given up on my neighbor hood? Even the bee keeper next door is short on hives to take out to the fields. Then there is the drought, the scorching winds and the punk rabbits that like to eat anything that isn't caged up.

Really, this garden is a labor of love and or torture depending on how bad the odds are stacked against it. Then there are the Cucumber Beetles. The hellish evil clowns of the insect world. Here are my organic choices to keep them at bay.
1. Catch them with my hands and squish them. (gross)
2. Place tangle foot sticky traps around the plants to try and catch them. (difficult with the high winds here )
3. Spray with organic insecticides like Neem, 3in 1, and multi insect spray. (wow, expensive)
4. Dust with special powder. (can cause plant to die)
5. Rip out plants, burn them and scorch the earth, never to plant again. ( I can buy organic produce at the market...)

At this point I have one viable pumpkin growing on the vine. I inspect it and faun over it daily. I will have to plant with broccoli and radish, perhaps nasturtiums next year to remove and repel the Beetles and their yucky bacteria.

Who knows what battles I will have to fight next year. (shudders at the thought)